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13 Ways to get through your setback

13 years ago today, I came home from the hospital to about 5 police officers waiting for us. We had just lost our son but I welcomed them in and offered them all a cup of tea! We react in the strangest ways during setback and everyone’s reaction is different. Some women I knew had also lost children and I realised now, this very day in 2007, what impact their loss must have had to make them like walking shells. I did not want to be like that, over the next days and weeks I realised I had a choice- we all do and no matter how dreadful the setback, we can choose to be the victim, blame the past and give up on the future or we can be the victor and gather the troops to begin our journey to win the battle. Sure there will be tears, bloodshed and emotion will be high but that is not to say we cannot overcome adversity. Your businesses, your teams, your people are all facing true setback right now and I want them to know it will be OK. Today I celebrate Charlie’s life and for every year we have survived or thrived since he left us, I leave you with a learning on how to get back on track. We can do this! 

  1. It’s ok to not be ok. Don’t pretend- that adds extra pressure, just be you.
  2. Know you can’t do this alone. There is strength in numbers.
  3. Reach out to specialists or do research to help fill in your knowledge gaps to get you through this.
  4. Like any great leader in crisis, delegate your socks off! 
  5. Have faith. There is something out there bigger than you. Call it God, call it energy, the universe…whatever…just call on it!
  6. Don’t be pulled in a way that feels incongruent. You are unique and so is your way forward.
  7. Notice when your negative emotions such as anger or anxiety are impacting others. Call it out and ask for help.
  8. Be open to feedback and listen with your heart.
  9. Surround yourself with those that bring you good energy and take a rain check on those that don’t.
  10. Celebrate the good and notice the small stuff that makes smile- that is a gift.
  11. Know it will be ok in the end…if it’s not ok, it’s not the end. I promise.
  12. Don’t feel guilty for your pain…we know worse things happen at sea but if your pet hamster died and that’s your biggest setback to date then that is a biggy.
  13. Choose victor over victim. You get a choice so notice where you are tempted to sit still and play the blame game; victims get stuck, victors move forward.