Is Your Inner Voice Friend or Foe?

We all have that inner voice, live streaming our thoughts and narrating our lives. Sometimes, it can be our biggest cheerleader, helping us achieve great things. Other times, it becomes our most ruthless critic, constantly whispering our doubts over and over.

That inner voice plays an important role when focusing on your career growth. Will it help you get that promotion, or will it hold you back? The good news (yes, there is some!) is that you have the power to turn your foe into a friend.

Understanding your inner voice.

Everything your inner voice says has been created from childhood, past experiences, external influences, environment, and beliefs. But what does our friend or foe sound like?

• Friendly inner voice – “You’ve got this! Well done, you’ve worked so hard and deserve all this success and opportunities.”

• Foe inner voice – “You’re not as experienced as everyone else.”

Thanks to the human freeze, fight, and flight response that keeps us alive, we often listen to the negative voice over the positive one.

At GuruYou HQ, we believe in balance. It’s not about roaring at yourself in the mirror every morning and announcing you are a tiger! The Bounce Mindset encourages that balance. We are not all about self-belief, as crap singers on X Factor often have that, but we are about self-awareness. Sometimes, we are more self-critical and sabotage our confidence, which stops our career growth.

What can you do if your inner voice is more foe than friend?

The key to breaking through those self-doubts is building awareness and reframing your words.

How to rewrite your inner narrative.

Is your inner voice critical and full of doubts and fears? If so, try these quick exercises to shift your mindset into a more supportive and confident friend.

Identify and challenge the negative chatter. Write down the limiting beliefs you hear in your head and be brutally honest with yourself. The comments might include things like:

• “I’m not qualified enough.”
• “I’m not confident enough to give important presentations.”
• “I always make mistakes and will look stupid.”

Next, challenge these negative thoughts by asking if they are facts or assumptions. What evidence do you have to support these beliefs? And what would you say to a friend if they said any of the above statements about themselves?

Now, you can rewrite those thoughts so they feel more empowering.

• “I might not have all the qualifications, but I have plenty of experience and valuable transferrable skills.” (List the evidence and then go back and see how much you believe that first thought)
• “I successfully presented before, so I can prepare and do well again.” (List examples)
• “I learn from my mistakes and can bring my strengths to the role to show my intelligence.” (List examples)

In CBT, evidence is key. It is not the negative belief that is the problem but its strength. If we can weaken that belief by finding evidence to the contrary, we are building a bounce mindset.

Reframe self-doubts as growth. Self-doubt isn’t a weakness. If we recognise it as our mind trying to keep us safe (got to love a comfort zone!), we can reframe it as a valuable tool for personal and professional growth.

Your brain will do anything it can to prevent you from straying off the usual (safe) path. Unfortunately, our brains can’t differentiate between a life-threatening situation and an email, which is when the freeze, fight, or flight response kicks in. That’s why our self-doubts are often fear-based. Reframing these thoughts can create a powerful shift towards a growth mindset.

For example: “I’m scared of failing in this new role.” Becomes “This challenge is helping me develop new skills.”

Create personal affirmations. We’ve all heard the stories of academics and sports personalities succeeding because they use visualisation strategies and affirmations. It might seem a bit woo-woo, but affirmations can rewire your brain to focus on your strengths.

A study carried out by the Health and Human Performance Lab suggested that consistently using self-relevant affirmations creates positive change. Here are three affirmations you can use or try creating your own:

“I am resourceful in my career.”

“I trust myself to handle challenges with confidence.”

“My teammates value me.”

Write them down on a Post-it Note, stick it where you can see it daily, and say them out loud.

Embrace a self-compassionate mindset.

Where does your negative self-talk come from? I often find that my coaching clients strive for perfectionism, which can lead to them beating themselves up when they make a mistake. Does perfectionism fuel your inner voice? Be honest! If it does, self-compassion is the perfect tool to help.

Next time you kick yourself for getting something wrong, making a mistake, or not creating your best work, try these tips:

• Acknowledge your efforts and not just the outcome.
• Stop saying, “I failed”, and start saying, “I learned.”
• Treat yourself with the same kindness and patience as you would a friend.

Of course, it’s not only our inner voice that influences what we do and how we show up. Sometimes, it’s the voices that are all around us that impact us. Are you surrounding yourself with positivity?

I always talk about building a support network of mentors, colleagues, and friends who uplift you. Fortunately, I’ve found amazing clients, colleagues, and connections in my network to support me and my business.

Thanks to them, I know I can ask for constructive feedback rather than self-criticising, and the leaders I follow inspire me in every area of my life and work. The more you can fill your external environment with cheerleaders, the better you will get at recognising when your inner voice is being a foe rather than a friend.

Your inner voice is always chattering away, but you get to decide what you listen to and if you’ll let it hold you back or lift you up.

Become your own friend.

Recognising and understanding your inner voice is important for your success. Using The Bounce Mindset® Framework, you can use this programme to equip yourself or your team with the best mindset for growth and resilience.

Take charge of your career today! Start by listening to your inner voice and reframing any negative noise.

“I found goal setting the most useful part of the course! I am just a few days away from achieving my goal. The small, seemingly insignificant steps compounded over time to reach the Huge, Unbelievably Great Goal. Ignore this at your peril!” Scott Wilson, Wesleyan

Get in touch if you’re looking for more assistance working through life’s challenges and you would appreciate a guide to encourage and support your goals and aspirations. We have a brilliant guide all ready and waiting for you!

Sign up for our monthly newsletter, packed with coaching advice and tips, or book a FREE consultation call with Rebecca to learn how we can support you.

Download our Charlie’s Star© Guide if you need more help leaving your comfort zone or are doubting yourself and want to break the cycle.

Charlie’s Star© was designed by Rebecca, Charlie’s Mum, to help people Bounce Forward through setbacks. Whether at a career crossroads, feeling stuck or lacking confidence, this self-coaching guide helps you to:

• Make scary decisions easily
• Move out of your comfort zone
• Move forward through personal setback