Have you ever walked out of a meeting, finished a presentation, landed a promotion, or achieved something you’ve worked incredibly hard for, only to hear that little voice in your head say, “You got lucky,” or “It’s only a matter of time before they realise I’m not good enough.” If you nodded along to any of those statements, you’re in good company. In this article, we’re going to look at how you can undo that negative self-talk.
Summary
Many successful people experience Imposter Phenomenon and feel like they don’t deserve their achievements, despite evidence to the contrary.
Self-doubt appears when we step outside our comfort zone or pursue something meaningful.
The stories we tell ourselves, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not ready,” can start to feel like facts if repeated often enough.
Most people can easily list their weaknesses but struggle to recognise their strengths and achievements.
Confidence is built through action, not by waiting to feel ready.
Reflection and self-awareness can help uncover the limiting stories you’ve been carrying for years.
Every successful person experiences self-doubt; the difference is they don’t let it make their decisions.
Over the years, I’ve coached people from all walks of life. Senior leaders, professionals preparing for promotion, people changing careers, and people stepping into completely new chapters of their lives. Do you know what many of them have in common? They don’t feel good enough!
Somewhere along the way, they’ve started believing the story their inner critic is telling them.
The Human Experience of Feeling Like a Fraud
You may have heard the term Imposter Syndrome before; I prefer to use Imposter Phenomenon because it’s not a syndrome! A syndrome is a group of symptoms that can’t be understood.
As a coach, I understand exactly why my clients feel like imposters. They’ve experienced a persistent sense that their achievements aren’t truly deserved, despite evidence to the contrary (showing up in their careers, businesses, relationships, or even personal goals), creating an exhausting internal dialogue that constantly questions their worth and ability.
It’s something I see particularly in women stepping into leadership positions or traditionally male-dominated environments, and I get it. Women in senior roles can face additional pressures and expectations. They can find themselves working harder to prove their credibility and questioning whether they truly belong or earned their spot at the table.
But here’s something important I want you to remember. Feeling like an imposter isn’t a women’s issue. It’s a human issue. I’ve worked with men who felt it. I’ve worked with people who grew up with very little and felt they didn’t belong in a successful environment.
Whenever we stretch ourselves, pursue something meaningful, or step outside our comfort zone, our brains try to keep us safe by creating doubt. The problems bubble up when that doubt becomes a habit.
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
I want you to think about the conversations you have with yourself. Would you ever speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself?
When clients come to me struggling with confidence, they’ll say things like:
“I’m not experienced enough.”
“Everyone else seems to know what they’re doing.”
“I should be further ahead by now.”
“I’m not ready.”
“Who am I to do this?”
If we repeat these thoughts often enough, they begin to feel true, but a thought is not a fact and thinking something doesn’t mean you have to believe it.
One of my favourite coaching questions is: “Is that actually true?”
I’m not talking about emotionally true, but factually true. If someone tells me they aren’t capable of a promotion, I’ll ask them for evidence to support that claim, and guess what: they struggle to provide it!
Then I ask them what evidence they have to show they are capable of achieving whatever it is they want, and suddenly a list appears. They have years of experience, qualifications, positive feedback, and projects delivered. Keeping a positive attitude log is a great way to build your self-confidence. Think of it as your daily journal.
The evidence was always there, but the inner critic was shouting louder.
Moving From ‘Not Enough’ to ‘Capable and Confident’
Confidence doesn’t magically appear one morning – if only! Our confidence comes from taking action.
Here are a few strategies I like to share with coaching clients:
Keep a Success List – Most people remember their mistakes, and few keep a list of their wins. Start writing down your achievements, compliments, positive feedback, milestones, and moments you’re proud of. When self-doubt appears, you’ll have proof to challenge it.
Catch Your Inner Critic – Pay attention to the language you’re using. Instead of saying, “I’m terrible at this,” try switching it to say, “I’m still learning this.”
Focus on Progress – Comparison is one of the quickest ways to destroy your confidence. Someone else’s chapter twenty is not a fair comparison to your chapter three. Take time to notice how far you’ve come rather than how far you still have to go.
Borrow Confidence From Your Past – Think about something you once found difficult, like driving, public speaking, or leading a team. Now think about how normal it feels today. What changed? You didn’t suddenly become fearless. You took action despite the fear, and that’s what confidence looks like.
Your Reflection Exercise
Grab a notebook and answer these questions:
What is one negative story you repeatedly tell yourself?
Is it actually true?
What evidence contradicts that story?
What would you say to a friend who felt the same way?
What new story would serve you better?
Sometimes the biggest breakthrough comes from awareness of that narrative you’ve been carrying around for years.
Every successful person you’ve ever admired has experienced Imposter Phenomenon, but the difference is they didn’t let it dictate their decisions. The next time your inner critic starts talking, pause and ask yourself, “What if I’m more capable than I think I am?”
If you’d like support understanding how Imposter Phenomenon is impacting you and how to build more confidence to show up with more clarity in your career, sign up for our monthly newsletter packed with coaching advice and tips, or book a FREE consultation call with Rebecca to learn how we can support you.
How often have you heard the phrase, ‘know your why’ when it comes to career or business? More importantly, when you sit with that question, what comes up for you? In this article, we talk about the importance of knowing your purpose.
Summary
Purpose is rooted in your identity and values, guiding your choices and how you show up.
Ask yourself: What do I stand for? What matters deeply to me? Who do I want to be?
Purpose matters more than motivation. It helps you keep going when motivation fades.
A clear why builds resilience, courage, and consistency.
Purpose acts like an internal compass when life feels uncertain.
You don’t find purpose overnight. It unfolds as you grow and notice what lights you up.
Journal prompts can help uncover purpose: when do you feel most like yourself, what frustrates you, and what do others seek you out for?
What’s your why? For most people, the first answers are external and might include family, kids, or even the dog! I am brutally honest when I say “no one cares!” While those things matter, they’re not your core purpose. Yes, they’re part of your world and the driving force behind who you are, but to truly understand yourself, you need to dig a little deeper.
Your Purpose Isn’t What You Do, It’s Who You Are
Your purpose isn’t your job title! It’s not even your to-do list, or what other people expect from you. Knowing who you are lives in your identity and your values. It’s the thread that runs through everything you do, the decisions you make, and the way you show up. Basically, it’s all the things that matter to you when nobody’s watching.
Ask yourself a few simple questions:
What do I stand for?
What do I care about so deeply that I can’t ignore it?
What kind of person do I want to be, regardless of circumstances?
When your purpose is rooted here, something shifts, and you stop chasing validation and start creating alignment.
“If you can tune into your purpose and really align with it… life flows much more easily.” Jack Canfield
Why Purpose Matters More Than Motivation
Motivation is fleeting. There will be days when you don’t feel like showing up, when doubt creeps in, your confidence wobbles, and everything feels harder than it should. In these moments, motivation isn’t enough, but knowing your purpose can help you move forward.
When you’re clear on your why, you make decisions faster (and with less overthinking), you stay committed, even when it feels uncomfortable, and you build something meaningful.
Your purpose fuels:
Resilience – You bounce back quicker because you know what you’re working towards.
Courage – You take action even when fear is present.
Consistency – You keep going when others stop.
Think of your purpose as an internal compass that keeps you steady when everything else feels uncertain.
The Truth About Finding Your Purpose
Unfortunately, your purpose isn’t going to fall into your lap fully formed. It needs to be uncovered layer by layer. It evolves as you grow, learn, and develop, both professionally and personally.
Sometimes, it’s like mine, rooted in a life-changing event. You are passionate about helping others in the way you or someone you love needed it.
Maybe you heard a story or saw something as a child that impacted you. I had a client who loved sitting in the dentist’s office and would go there after school. Remembering this in the Bounce Mindset programme helped her fall back in love with her job in dental insurance.
Another client didn’t know her ‘why’ and told me she just ‘fell into banking’. I challenged this. Why not fall into law or medicine? Over the course of a session, we unpacked her family’s experience as first-generation immigrants while her father built his grocery business. She went on to realise that the impact of a good and a bad bank manager on her family, subconsciously, had triggered her decision to go into finance.
Maybe it shows up quietly in the way you’re drawn to specific things or opportunities, and the conversations that light you up. Sit for a moment and think about when you felt most like yourself. What were you doing?
Here are some prompts to help you go deeper. Grab a notebook and give yourself some time and space with these:
When do I feel most like me? – Think about moments where you feel energised, confident, or completely at ease.
What frustrates or upsets me, and why? – Your triggers often point to your values. What matters enough to spark emotion?
What do people come to me for? – Advice, support, ideas? Look for any patterns here.
If I removed fear, judgement, and expectations, what would I choose?
What kind of impact do I want to have on others? – Not in a grand, overwhelming way, but in the everyday moments.
What do I want my life to stand for?
Take your time with these. Think of your stories. There’s no rush and no right or wrong answers.
Bringing Your Purpose Into Everyday Life
It’s great to gain clarity in your life, but it’s what you do with it that creates lasting change. Once you start to uncover your purpose, ask yourself where you feel out of alignment and what small changes you can make this week to move closer to it.
Knowing your purpose also means honouring your values in your daily decisions.
Purpose doesn’t have to mean you need to have a dramatic life overhaul, but sometimes, it’s as simple as choosing differently.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, unsure, or a little disconnected from what you’re doing, this could be your sign to pause and reconnect with your purpose.
You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. At GuruYou Coaching, we support you in getting clear on what truly matters, so you can move forward with confidence, clarity, and direction.
Are you ready to explore your purpose on a deeper level? Coaching sessions and guided resources are available to help you uncover your why and turn it into meaningful action. When you know your purpose, everything else starts to make a lot more sense.
What Are Your Next Steps?
If you’re ready to understand your purpose so you can follow the right leadership opportunities, then using the prompts in this article is the perfect place to begin.
If you’d like support developing your mindset and understanding your purpose to show up with more clarity in your career, sign up for our monthly newsletter packed with coaching advice and tips, or book a FREE consultation call with Rebecca to learn how we can support you.
Here at GuruYou Coaching, we love using the phrase, “If it’s not on paper, it’s vapour.”
Your ideas may be positive, and your goals may seem achievable, but unless they’re written down, they can remain unfulfilled. If your goals are floating around in your head without ever fully landing, then read on.
Summary
Writing strengthens neural pathways and locks goals into memory.
Repetition rewires your brain (neuroplasticity) to support resilience.
Your RAS starts spotting evidence of progress.
A positive attitude log shifts you from reaction to response.
Written commitments increase follow-through.
On hard days, your log becomes proof you didn’t quit.
Why Writing Things Down Changes Your Brain
When you physically write something down, you activate multiple areas of the brain at once, including motor movement, language processing, visual encoding, and memory consolidation. The hippocampus helps store what you write as something meaningful rather than fleeting.
This strengthens neural pathways, and the more often you write a thought, intention, or commitment, the more your brain treats it as important.
This is neuroplasticity in action! It’s when your brain literally rewires itself based on repeated focus. So, when you write a goal, positive action, or a decision to try again, you’re reinforcing the pathway.
That is Bounce Mindset in practice. It’s not forced optimism or pretending things are easy, but consciously choosing your next step and strengthening the neural pathways that support it.
The Reticular Activating System (RAS)
Your brain filters millions of pieces of information every second, and the Reticular Activating System (RAS) decides what gets your attention.
When you consistently write down what you are building, improving, or committing to, your RAS begins to look for supporting evidence.
For example, if you wrote down, ‘I’m strengthening my resilience to speak up in meetings’, your brain starts to notice those moments you handled with more confidence, situations where you didn’t quit, and when you made your voice heard.
Bounce Mindset is about recognising that setbacks are data, and a positive attitude log trains your attention to look for evidence of bounce rather than breakdown.
From Reaction to Response
One of the core principles of Bounce Mindset is moving from automatic reaction to intentional response, and this is where a positive attitude log supports this shift.
Instead of ending your day replaying any mistakes you might have made or frustrations you felt, focus on capturing:
How you adapted
What you learned
Where you chose courage
When you stayed steady
Your ability to recover, recalibrate, and continue will build over time.
The Psychology of Commitment
Behavioural psychology consistently shows that written commitments increase follow-through compared to verbal intentions alone. Why? Because writing creates a contract with yourself.
When you write, ‘I made the call even though I felt uncertain’, you become someone who acts despite the niggling uncertainty.
Don’t wait around until you feel confident! With the Bounce Mindset, it’s about acting, reflecting, reinforcing, and building confidence through evidence – now! Your log becomes the evidence you need.
“A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action makes your dreams come true.” Greg Reid
Why This Matters on Hard Days
The brain is always trying to keep us safe, and so it’s always scanning for threats, errors, and problems. Without any deliberate counterbalance, your inner voice can quietly lean towards ‘I’m not enough’ or ‘this isn’t working.’
You can interrupt that pattern with a positive attitude log. It won’t stop the difficulties, but it will acknowledge any setbacks and record the positives:
“I adjusted.”
“I stayed calm.”
“I didn’t give up.”
“I asked for help.”
If It’s Not on Paper, It’s Vapour
How do you start creating a positive attitude log?
Keep it simple.
Use a notebook.
Five minutes daily.
Record three moments of positive action, mindset, or resilience.
Review your log weekly and notice growth patterns.
Sign up for our monthly newsletter packed with coaching advice and tips, or book a FREE consultation call with Rebecca to learn how we can support you.
“Wow, wow, wow! A course like nothing else I have ever been on before. Truly life changing!” Wesleyan employee
Did you know that you have roughly seven seconds to make a positive first impression? Potential clients, employers, colleagues, and even your future BFs will spend those seconds weighing you up. If you want to boost your professional presence, you’ll need 7 hours!
Are you sharing your voice and presenting yourself online with the same care and attention you would for a face-to-face meeting? If not, then boosting your professional online presence may need to become a priority.
Your LinkedIn profile is often the first impression you make when building your career, exploring leadership opportunities, or expanding your network. Having confidence online makes a big difference.
Once upon a time, LinkedIn was the home of your digital CV, where you could showcase your professional skills. These days, the platform has evolved into more of a social space, allowing you to be more intentional and present yourself more authentically, rather than focusing on a list of credentials. All of this helps you create more opportunities for your career.
If you’re not sure how to optimise your profile, then here are some strategies to help you enhance your LinkedIn presence and confidently build visibility.
Polish Your Profile for Maximum Impact
Think of your profile as your professional shop window. Make sure it reflects who you are today, not who you were five years ago.
Key areas to focus on:
Headline: Go beyond your job title. Use it to highlight your expertise and the value you bring. Start with “Helping [ideal client] to…” For example, “Helping Senior Leaders through Setback” or “Helping Families Navigate Divorce Through Exceptional Legal Support”. Who – Pain Point – How!
About section: Write in the first person to make your summary more approachable. Share your skills, experience, and purpose.
Professional image: Choose a high-quality, professional headshot. Your photo is often the first thing people notice. Remember to smile – with teeth!
Banner image: A lot of people overlook this space, but it’s perfect to visually showcase your brand, values, or achievements. Add your strapline, an image, or something snappy like on my banner, “From Unseen to Unstoppable”
Share Your Voice with Confidence
Posting regularly on LinkedIn builds visibility and credibility. You don’t need to write long winded articles every week, as short posts with insights, a story, or even a question can spark great engagement. Think of each post as support for your ideal client rather than it being about you. Include benefits for your clients.
One of the biggest hurdles people face on LinkedIn is finding the confidence to post. It’s easy to fall into the trap of overthinking or worrying that your content isn’t good enough. The truth is, LinkedIn thrives on authenticity, not perfection. Think of having four pillars to your LinkedIn profile:
Share lessons from your career journey. These could be wins, challenges, or reflections. Posts like this make you relatable and help others learn from your experiences. They also show that you have a growth mindset.
Comment thoughtfully on industry news. Instead of simply sharing a link to an interesting article, add your perspective. What does this development mean for your sector, clients, or leadership approach? Turn it into a story that adds credibility to your profile.
Celebrate your successes. Promotions, project completions, or anniversaries are worth sharing, but consider adding context, advice, or tips to help others apply them to their own journey. Include testimonials and case studies for social proof.
People buy from people. Don’t shy away from the personal over the professional. Your ideal client wants to meet the ‘human being’ behind the ‘human doing’! Always keep in mind that everything you share online is for the benefit of your ideal client. They don’t want to read about fear or judgement – they’re living with that shit! They want to know what to do next.
The more you post, the more natural it feels. At first, you may find yourself hesitating and listening to that inner critic, but with time you’ll develop a rhythm and recognise what resonates with your network. Think of each post as a conversation starter, rather than a polished presentation.
Your voice is valuable. Sharing your perspective helps others, positions you as a thought leader, and reminds your network that you’re active and invested in your professional growth.
Build Meaningful Connections
Networking on LinkedIn isn’t about the numbers. Collecting hundreds of connections means nothing if you’re not nurturing those people and building relationships.
Personalise your connection requests with a short message, but don’t sell. Your header does that for you.
Follow up with conversations rather than leaving connections dormant.
Engage with your network’s posts (commenting shows you’re paying attention)
Ring the bell of those people whom you want to see all their posts (go to the profile you want to follow, and you’ll see the bell on the right just below the header image).
It’s worth remembering that your visibility increases when you actively participate, not just when you post.
Showcase Your Expertise
Optimising your LinkedIn profile has never been easier. There are loads of tools you can use to highlight your strengths.
Are you using the featured section? This is the ideal location to share articles, posts, or external links that demonstrate your expertise. How about your recommendations? When was the last time you asked someone to leave a testimonial for you? Don’t be afraid to ask for them! A few strong testimonials add credibility.
Keep your skills up to date and relevant to your career goals or any aspirations you have on your HUGG (Huge Unbelievably Great Goals) list.
Think Leadership, Not Just Employment
If your goal is career growth or stepping into leadership roles, tailor your content accordingly. Share perspectives on leadership, collaboration, or innovation. Write posts that demonstrate your ability to inspire others.
You want to establish your personal brand within your company so that your clients recognise and trust you. Talk about your passion and purpose. I’ve seen clerks, barristers, lawyers, and executives at large firms advance their careers significantly over their peers thanks to their online activity.
It’s better than networking!
Building Confidence on LinkedIn
Confidence on LinkedIn doesn’t come overnight. It grows as you update your profile, start posting, and interact with your network. Each step builds trust in your own voice and increases how others see you.
By being intentional, authentic, and visible, you transform your LinkedIn presence from a static profile into a living, breathing representation of your professional brand.
Why Bother Investing Your Time in LinkedIn?
If I told you that every day there was £1000 in an envelope with your name on it hidden under a bench at your local train station, I’m guessing you’d find a way to make a daily detour to collect it. You’d clear your diary, leave the house a bit earlier, or reshuffle your commitments because the reward would feel worth the effort.
Now, remember this the next time you hear yourself say:
“I don’t have time to build my LinkedIn profile.” “I can’t think up posts.” “There isn’t enough time to research potential clients.” “I don’t have time to go to that event.” “Who am I to apply for awards?”
The truth is, you do have the time, but you’re choosing to spend it elsewhere. Every minute you invest in your professional visibility has an impact. One optimised LinkedIn profile could land you a new role. One well-crafted post could lead to an invitation to speak. One connection could turn into a client, a mentor, or a business partner.
When you dismiss these opportunities with “I don’t have time,” what you’re really saying is, “It’s not a priority.” And if visibility, credibility, and growth aren’t priorities, then neither is the leadership career you say you want.
Stop kidding yourself that you need to find hours every day!
Ten minutes per post is enough.
Twenty minutes to update your profile.
Half an hour to attend an event or reach out to someone new.
It’s not about time, it’s about choice. How you prioritise those choices is what makes the difference between staying invisible and stepping into the opportunities waiting for you.
For more tips on building your career, download our FREE resource, 3 Steps to Career Confidence and get on the waitlist for our Bounce Mindset Programme 2026.
Sign up for our monthly newsletter packed with coaching advice and tips, or book a FREE consultation call with Rebecca to learn how we can support you.
“Rebecca’s focus on goals, whilst supporting her clients holistically, allows personal development to accelerate without limits. The rewards from working with her are huge.” Beth Stacey
What do people say about you when you’re not in the room?
That’s not just a juicy question; it’s the heart of your personal brand and helps you define your leadership identity.
Leaders aren’t defined by their job titles or LinkedIn bios. True leadership identity is built on a foundation of core values, those deeply held beliefs that guide your decisions, behaviours, and relationships. When your personal brand aligns with those values, you become more authentic, more consistent, and far more impactful.
“My definition of success: When your core values and self-concept are in harmony with your daily actions and behaviours.” John Spence
In this blog, I’ll guide you through the process of identifying your core values and show you how to use them to shape a personal brand that positions you as a confident and credible leader.
What Are Core Values (and Why Do They Matter)?
Your core values are the non-negotiable beliefs that influence how you lead, connect, think, and make decisions. They’re not just buzzwords or traits you aspire to. They’re the qualities you live by.
Examples of core values might include:
Integrity
Curiosity
Empowerment
Fairness
Innovation
Compassion
When your actions align with your values, you develop a leadership style that feels authentic, and people trust leaders who know who they are!
Step 1: Identify Your Core Values
To define your leadership identity, you need to figure out your top 3-5 core values. Start by reflecting on moments of pride. When did you feel most proud of yourself in your career or personal life? What values were you honouring in those moments?
It’s also essential to think about what frustrates you. When have you felt really uncomfortable or angry in a situation? Most of the time, it’s because one of your values was being compromised.
Make a list of values that resonate with you (search “core values list” for inspiration). Narrow it down to five, then ask yourself the following questions:
Which of these do I live every day?
What drives the way I lead and work with others?
“Forget about willpower. It’s time for why-power. Your choices are only meaningful when you connect them to your desires and dreams. The wisest and most motivating choices are the ones aligned with that which you identify as your purpose, your core self, and your highest values. You’ve got to want something, and know why you want it, or you’ll end up giving up too easily.” Darren Hardy (The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success)
Step 2: Align Your Brand with Your Values
Your personal brand is what people think of you based on your communication, behaviour, presence, and reputation. A strong personal brand should consistently reflect your values across all platforms, both online and offline, in meetings, presentations, and networking events.
Are you stepping up when it comes to your personal brand? Ask yourself if your emails, social posts, and presentations reflect your values. Are you consistent in how you show up as a leader? Would your colleagues or clients describe you using the values you’ve listed?
If not, don’t panic! This is your opportunity to realign and build a more authentic leadership identity.
It’s also essential that you align your core values with your HUGG (Huge Unbelievably Great Goal). Once you’ve identified your values, you can consider how your HUGG aligns with them. This may require some adjustments to your goal or values, but it’s an exercise worth doing.
Step 3: Communicate Your Brand with Confidence
Once your brand and values are in sync, it’s time to confidently share them with the world. That doesn’t mean shouting about your values; it means living them.
Here’s a great way to get started:
Update your bios and website to include values-led language.
Use storytelling to share your experiences and what matters to you.
Be intentional with your leadership presence and how you speak, listen, and lead meetings.
Say no to work that doesn’t align with your values and say yes to what does.
Why This Matters for Your Leadership Growth
Having a clear and values-driven personal brand builds trust and credibility while helping you attract aligned opportunities and clients. It positions you as a role model for your team and enhances clarity and confidence in your leadership style.
You don’t need to be the loudest voice in the room to lead effectively. You just need to be YOU – aligned, intentional, and values-driven!
At GuruYou Coaching, we believe that knowing your core values isn’t just an exercise in self-awareness but an essential power move for leadership. It’s how you step into your full potential as a leader, communicator, and changemaker.
If you’re ready to define or refine your personal brand and leadership identity, we’re here to help. Book a discovery call today and start building the brand that aligns with your values and ambitions.
Do You Need Help Understanding Your Core Values?
Using The Bounce Mindset® Framework, you can turn your career ambitions into reality with a clear vision, understanding how your core values can help you thrive. Get in touch here if you need more assistance overcoming life’s challenges.
“Working with you was a dream, you are so passionate and that came across. It really has helped me and turned me in a new direction, knowing what I want to do in my career. There are challenges in life and I am not saying I won’t have them in the future but I have tools and techniques now I can go back to! Thank you!” Melanie Trowers and Hamlins
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“Without Rebecca’s support it would have taken so much longer to achieve our target and to raise the profile of the project and build a committed Advisory Board.” CJ – The Black Pounds Project
In this episode of The Bounce Mindset Podcast, we’re joined by Shelley Wilson, a multi-genre author, writing mentor, solo traveller, and champion of women’s voices. From her VW campervan adventures to bestselling novels and mentoring aspiring authors, Shelley shares a deeply honest look at her journey, her storytelling, and how writing helped her bounce forward from one of life’s darkest chapters.
Writing Across Genres and Wearing Many Hats
Shelley is a creative force with a career spanning self-help, young adult fantasy, historical fiction, and, most recently, romance. Her latest novel, Floating Solo, written during a spontaneous moment of inspiration, showcases her ability to pivot into new genres. But beyond her prolific writing, Shelley also mentors women who want to write their books, whether that’s a memoir, a business guide, or a novel.
“I support people to bring their stories to life,” Shelley explains. “It’s not just about writing, it’s about creating impact and embracing the vulnerability that storytelling demands.”
From Word Nerd to Published Author
Shelley’s love affair with storytelling began in childhood, scribbling in notebooks and diving into fantasy worlds where anything was possible. A pivotal moment came at 16 when her English teacher read her story aloud in class. “I was mortified and proud at the same time,” she laughs. “But I knew even then that I wanted people to hear my stories.”
Yet life took a detour. Marriage, children, and eventually divorce pulled Shelley away from writing. It wasn’t until she rediscovered books like The Secret that she found her way back to storytelling and herself.
Rebuilding Through Story
Shelley’s personal journey is one of immense courage. In a difficult and controlling marriage, her self-worth was slowly worn away. But her love for her children became the turning point. “I had this moment where I thought: I refuse to die and leave them with him. That was the moment I chose to survive.”
She left, rebuilt her life, and found strength through reading and reconnecting with others. “I went back to work, started making friends again, and began reading strong female characters. It reminded me of who I used to be, and who I could become again.”
The Power of Vulnerability in Writing
Shelley openly shares the emotional rollercoaster that comes with writing a book. From the impostor phenomenon to fear of judgment, she helps her clients navigate the ups and downs.
“Writing is vulnerable. Whether you’re telling your life story or writing fiction, those ideas come from your soul. The fear is real, but so is the transformation.”
She likens the writing process to building a sandcastle. “The first draft is you just shovelling sand. You then shape it into something beautiful later. But you can’t skip the messy part.”
From Trauma to Fiction: Healing Through Story
While Shelley hasn’t written a memoir about her experience with domestic abuse, she channels those emotions into her fiction. Her young adult novels often feature 16-year-old protagonists who are strong, flawed girls who find their voice and purpose. “They’re the girls I wish I’d been. Writing them is cathartic. It’s healing.”
She also uses journaling and ‘morning pages’ to offload emotion, a technique she recommends to anyone recovering from trauma.
A Life Beyond the Page
These days, Shelley’s greatest joy, apart from her grown-up children, is solo travelling in her VW campervan, Snoopy. “He’s the best investment I’ve ever made,” she says. Whether writing, researching for a novel, or simply recharging, her van adventures are the ultimate act of self-care and inner happiness.
“I’ve learned that happiness isn’t external. It’s inside. That took a while to realise, but once I did, everything shifted.”
A Legacy of Strength and Storytelling
Shelley’s story is one of post-traumatic growth. She’s not just bounced back, she’s bounced forward, building a life of purpose, creativity, and support for others.
“I wouldn’t change any of it. I’ve got my three incredible children, and I’ve created a life I love. If I can show other women that they can do the same, then it’s all been worth it.”
Her energy, humour, and honesty shine through everything she does, from mentoring sessions to her novels. “I’m proud of us,” she says of her family’s journey. “And I know I’m not finished yet.”
Want to Work With Shelley?
Shelley offers a range of ways to support women who want to write:
Free Facebook Group – Start Writing Your Book: accountability threads, open submissions, ask-me-anything days.
Membership Group – A monthly writing community with coaching calls, co-writing sessions, and a full resource portal.
Power Hours – 1:1 mentoring calls for writers seeking clarity and confidence.
One-to-One Mentoring – A three-month package for those ready to commit to writing their book.
You can also follow Shelley on LinkedIn and all major social platforms, where she shares behind-the-scenes writing tips, motivational content, and glimpses into life on the road in Snoopy, the campervan. Shelley’s story reminds us that our voice matters, our past doesn’t define our future, and that sharing our truth, no matter how vulnerable, can spark healing, connection, and real transformation.
“If I waited until I believed in myself,” Shelley says, “I wouldn’t be doing anything. You don’t have to feel ready to take the first step, you just have to start.”
Do You Need Help Embracing Vulnerability?
Using The Bounce Mindset® Framework, you can turn your career ambitions into reality with a clear vision, understanding how vulnerability doesn’t have to hold you back.
“Without Rebecca’s support it would have taken so much longer to achieve our target and to raise the profile of the project and build a committed Advisory Board.” CJ – The Black Pounds Project
Get in touch here if you need more assistance overcoming life’s challenges.
Sign up for our monthly newsletter packed with coaching advice and tips, or book a FREE consultation call with Rebecca to learn how we can support you.
It won’t come as a surprise that the talk I’m asked to present the most is on Imposter Phenomenon!
When experiencing a healthy dose of self-doubt, phrases such as “fake it until you make it” encourage us to feel like we should expect to have imposter syndrome at some point in our careers.
Is it a ‘thing’ or something made up by the media?
The term ‘Imposter Phenomenon’ was coined in the 1970s by Pauline Rose Clance and Susanne Imes and is indeed a psychological experience. IT IS NOT a ‘syndrome’ as it’s an experience rather than a diagnosis. They described it as an “intense feeling of phoniness despite evidence to the contrary.”
This phenomenon, while it isn’t a diagnosis, does have an impact on mental health and self-esteem, especially for women hoping to work up the corporate ladder. Many experience anxiety and self-doubt, and it’s often more common in high-achieving individuals.
Understanding the Imposter Phenomenon
The imposter phenomenon refers to a persistent feeling of inadequacy. Female leaders often attach their achievements to luck or external factors rather than their own competence. This mindset can hinder career growth in corporate environments and prevent talented leaders from embracing professional development and promotion opportunities.
Studies carried out in 2018 (Jorge et al., 2018) found that a lack of women in leadership positions can negatively impact business performance. Yet, when women take on leadership roles, the company experiences high-level performance. The study implied that increased female representation, especially in STEM, can promote economic growth, create employment, and reduce poverty.
If so, why are so many competent women not seeking promotion at board level?
How can you identify if you’re experiencing imposter phenomenon?
Fear – You might constantly feel that you’re about to be ‘found out’ and that your incompetence will be discovered, leading to judgement, a visit to HR, or dismissal. You probably overthink the probability of something going wrong.
Tainted Success – You never celebrate a business success because you believe it was either good timing, sheer luck, or thanks to something outside your control. You also underestimate your ability to handle situations.
Perceived Lack of Plausibility – You are in a minority and cannot explain how you ‘slipped through the net’ to get there.
How Does This Impact Leaders?
Unfortunately, societal expectations, stereotypes such as traditional gender roles, and biases in the workplace mean that women can experience a higher level of imposter feelings. These beliefs manifest as self-doubt, meaning potential leaders are hesitant to speak up in meetings, reluctant to apply for promotions, and lack confidence in their abilities.
This internal conflict can create barriers that prevent highly talented candidates from stepping into leadership roles despite being fully qualified and capable.
KPMG revealed that 75% of female executives experience imposter phenomenon during their careers. 57% saw an increase in these feelings during promotions or taking on a new role. This study found that feelings of self-doubt were heightened when in an environment where women are underrepresented.
That underrepresentation can be enough to maintain impostor feelings, creating a cycle in which the lack of female leaders reinforces the imposter’s belief that a promotion or board-level position is unattainable.
According to a report by Leanin.org and Mckinsey & Company, women represent 47% of the general workforce, but only 40% reach entry-level management.
However, there are strategies you can work on to help you overcome imposter feelings.
Recognise and Reframe Negative Thoughts – Self-awareness is the first step. Acknowledge imposter feelings when they come up and challenge these thoughts by reflecting on your accomplishments. Keep a Positive Attitude Log and record everything, no matter how big or small. This can provide evidence of your capability and progress.
Seek Support and Share Experiences – Connecting with mentors, coaches, or supportive peers who have faced similar experiences can normalise these feelings. Talking openly can improve isolation and reinforce that experiencing imposter phenomenon doesn’t make you less qualified or capable.
Talking our thoughts through with someone can often help. Looking at available options and discussing these openly and honestly without fear of judgment is a wonderful way to reach clarity of mind.
Coaching is a gentle way of supporting, guiding, and encouraging you.
Accept Imperfection – Understand that perfection is impossible and not required for success or leadership. Embracing a growth mindset, which views challenges as opportunities to learn rather than threats, can reduce anxiety around performance.
“Perfectionism is a terrible burden. It’s the one thing that often stands between us and real, lasting, deep happiness and the feeling of peace and fulfilment.” Kristina Mand-Lakhiani, Founder of Mindvalley.
Celebrate Your Successes – Regularly acknowledge your achievements. When you are busy, it’s too easy to forget or even downplay your accomplishments, which reinforces imposter feelings. By openly celebrating your successes, you validate your abilities and boost your confidence. Self-reflection helps you identify your strengths and recognise areas that may need improvement.
Invest in Continuous Learning – Ongoing professional development can strengthen your skillset, reaffirm your capabilities, and provide additional confidence in your role. Be cautious of learning for confidence’s sake and being an eternal student; we never can learn enough and should not be constantly on a course in search of perfection!
Stepping into Your Leadership Potential
Overcoming imposter phenomenon is a journey that opens the door to greater leadership potential. As you become more confident in your abilities, you’ll more readily embrace opportunities and thrive in your professional environment.
Remember, experiencing imposter feelings doesn’t weaken your worth or capabilities. By recognising these thoughts and feelings and taking proactive steps to address them, you’re not just overcoming self-doubt but unlocking your true potential as a leader.
Trust yourself and your skills and confidently step forward into the leadership roles you deserve.
Take charge of your career today. Start by recognising when you are experiencing imposter phenomenon and what triggers these feelings.
“Simply put, Rebecca reduces the negative beliefs and behaviours that impede great performance.” England Rugby Football Union, Head of Department
Next Steps
Get in touch if you need more assistance working through life’s challenges and would appreciate a resource to encourage and support your goals and aspirations. We have a brilliant guide all ready and waiting for you!
“Rebecca is an absolutely brilliant coach. Straight-talking and yet empathetic, she really gets to the heart of issues. You leave a session feeling empowered, with a clear action plan. No subject is off limits as Rebecca understands that things being sub-optimal in another area of your life can affect how effectively you can operate at work. I would highly recommend Rebecca as a business coach, particularly in the legal sector.” Naomi Pride
Sign up for our monthly newsletter, packed with coaching advice and tips, or book a FREE consultation call with Rebecca to learn how we can support you.
Storytelling isn’t just for books and films. It’s a powerful tool in the business world that can help us gain confidence and achieve our goals. Think about the insightful stories you listen to on your favourite Podcast or the blog posts you read. From boardrooms to networking events, effective storytelling can improve communication, build trust, and leave a lasting impression.
Learning the art of storytelling can help you share ideas in a way that resonates with your team. It can also assist you when pitching a new idea or building client relationships. Stories transform facts into relatable experiences and emotional connections.
The Science Behind Storytelling
Research in neuroscience reveals that hearing a story engages seven areas of the brain (colours and shapes, language comprehension and processing, scents, sounds, movement, and sensory cortex) than data-driven presentations that engage only two areas (language comprehension and processing), making messages more memorable and impactful. Source: Scott Schwertly.
When we hear a fascinating story, our brains release oxytocin, a chemical that promotes trust and empathy. This explains why we naturally connect with stories, they make us feel something – think about your favourite Christmas Ad!
The perfect example of this is my recent conversation with Amit Ghose, a remarkable advocate and social media influencer who has inspired thousands with his story. Born with neurofibromatosis, a condition that causes tumours to grow on nerve tissue, Amit has undergone countless surgeries and faced unimaginable trials. But through it all, he has chosen to rise above his challenges, transforming his pain into purpose.
This is why businesses that incorporate storytelling into their messaging and leadership experience are more successful at capturing attention and influencing decisions.
Crafting a Compelling Story
How can you use storytelling to enhance communication, meet the needs of your employees, and connect with your team?
Before I share some of our favourite key techniques, let me share my own story.
In 2007, we lost our beautiful son Charlie. Our world crumbled, and life carried on regardless with meetings interspersed by a funeral, performance reviews followed by a meeting to discuss police intervention, interviews for sales managers alongside appointments with psychologists.
I would sit at my desk feeling guilty because I was Googling self-help books on Amazon instead of working. Using the last stapler could reduce me to tears and I would feel sorry for my team because their leader was such a mess! In short, I felt inadequate and very, very lonely. In public, I held it together. My pencil skirt and heels became my armour, and my smile was a great mask of the unbearable pain ripping through my body at every meeting.
Sharing my personal story allows me to connect emotionally on a deeper level with the clients I coach. They feel comfortable opening up without judgement because they know they’re dealing with an empathic coach who listens and understands them.
We can’t choose our circumstances. Relationship problems, financial stresses, or difficult home lives can always seem beyond our control, but we can choose how we move forward and how to get the best out of the situations we find ourselves in. By sharing my story, I enable others to do the same.
Here are some key storytelling techniques to explore:
Start with a Relatable Hook
The first few seconds of your story matter. Start with a compelling hook that is surprising, emotional, or relatable. For example, instead of saying, “Employee retention is important,” share a short anecdote: “Last year, we nearly lost one of our most valuable employees. Here’s what we learned…”
Use the Classic Story Structure
Great stories follow a beginning, middle, and end structure that makes them easy to follow:
Situation: Set the scene and introduce the context (beginning)
Challenge: Present the problem or conflict (middle)
Solution: Explain how the problem was addressed (middle)
Outcome: Share the result and key takeaway (end)
This framework offers clarity and keeps your audience engaged from start to finish.
Make It Personal and Authentic
Stories that feature real experiences are more compelling. Share your challenges, lessons, or successes to make your message more relatable. Authenticity builds credibility and fosters trust. Using your own experiences provides you with something to share at meetings or networking events, allowing you to be seen, heard, and valued.
Appeal to Emotions
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
Use sensory details and emotional triggers to bring your story to life. Whether it’s humour, excitement, or empathy, connecting emotionally strengthens your message.
Use Metaphors and Analogies
Ideas become easier to understand when you explain them using metaphors or analogies. For example, comparing a business strategy to a chess game helps demonstrate the importance of planning.
Alternatively, you could use an analogy around the inner voice. For example, your inner voice is like a roommate. Sometimes it’s your best friend, sharing a takeaway while watching Netflix and reminding you of your strengths. Other times, it’s the worst critic, shaming you for not doing the washing up, and making you doubt yourself.
Keep It Short
We all know how valuable our time is. Avoid unnecessary fluff and keep your story focused. Aim for a clear message but leave a strong impact!
Applying Storytelling to Leadership and Communication
Leaders who master storytelling can inspire, persuade, and motivate in multiple areas of our personal and professional life. But how can you incorporate storytelling without feeling self-critical?
When attending a presentation or a meeting, start with a brief story to capture attention before diving into data and analysis. Use storytelling to highlight case studies and success stories demonstrating your value or your team’s.
Share personal experiences to build rapport and show your leadership skills. A well-crafted story about your journey can make you more memorable and relatable.
Next time you need to share an idea, remember that facts tell, but stories sell. Use storytelling to elevate your professional presence and leave a lasting impact.
Take charge of your career today! Start by considering the relatable stories you can share with your team, colleagues, or clients.
“Rebecca is an absolutely brilliant coach. Straight-talking and yet empathetic, she really gets to the heart of issues. You leave a session feeling empowered, with a clear action plan. No subject is off limits as Rebecca understands that things being sub-optimal in another area of your life can affect how effectively you can operate at work. I would highly recommend Rebecca as a business coach, particularly in the legal sector.” Naomi Pride
Get in touch if you’re looking for more assistance working through life’s challenges and you would appreciate a guide to encourage and support your goals and aspirations. We have a brilliant guide all ready and waiting for you!
Sign up for our monthly newsletter, packed with coaching advice and tips, or book a FREE consultation call with Rebecca to learn how we can support you.
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