Are your thoughts supporting you or holding you back? The stories you tell yourself can be empowering or keep you stuck. The tricky thing is that when you repeat these thoughts often enough, they stop feeling like thoughts and start feeling like facts. In this article, we look at how to change the stories you tell yourself.
In short…
The stories you repeat to yourself shape your confidence, decisions, and opportunities.
Many limiting beliefs come from past experiences, fear, comparison, or old conditioning.
What are 4 questions to help challenge negative self-talk and uncover whether your thoughts are actually true?
Limiting stories often stop people from taking action, applying for opportunities, or being visible.
Repetition makes thoughts feel familiar, but familiarity doesn’t make them true.
Small mindset and language shifts can create powerful changes in confidence and identity.
Replacing harsh self-talk with supportive, balanced thoughts helps build self-trust and momentum.
Journaling and self-awareness exercises can help uncover and rewrite unhelpful narratives.
You don’t need to eliminate fear completely, but you can stop automatically believing every negative thought.
It’s not the belief that is the issue, but the strength of it!
When was the last time you heard yourself say, “I’m not confident enough,” or “Other people are naturally better at this.” Or “I’m not (Insert desired strength here) enough?
These are stories you’ve repeated so many times that your brain has accepted them as part of your identity. One of the most powerful mindset tools I’ve come across for challenging these thoughts is from author and speaker Byron Katie.
It’s simple, eye-opening, and surprisingly emotional when you really sit with it, because the stories we tell ourselves shape everything:
How we show up
The opportunities we take
The risks we avoid
The life we create
Your Mind Loves a Story
Our brains are constantly trying to make sense of the world. We create stories based on past experiences, fear, rejection, embarrassment, childhood conditioning, and even the odd offhand comment someone made twenty years ago!
The problem with this is that most of us never stop to question those stories. We carry them around like invisible rules, and over time, those stories can become our limitations.
You stop applying for opportunities because you don’t think you’re qualified enough.
You avoid visibility because you hate attention.
You stay small because you don’t want to fail.
Meanwhile, somebody else with less experience but a healthier internal narrative is putting themselves forward because their story sounds different.
Byron Katie’s Four Questions
Byron Katie developed a simple but powerful method designed to help people challenge stressful thoughts and beliefs.
The four questions are:
Is it true?
Can you absolutely know it’s true?
How do you react when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without that thought?
At first glance, they seem straightforward, but when you dig deep, they can completely shift your perspective.
Let’s look at an example of how this works. I want you to imagine your internal story is: “I’m not good enough to put myself forward for promotion.”
Now, let’s run it through the four questions.
Is it true?
Your first instinct might be to agree, but I want you to pause.
What evidence do you actually have? Are you really not good enough, or are you inexperienced, nervous, learning, or comparing yourself to others?
Can you absolutely know it’s true?
This is where things get interesting. Can you prove, beyond all doubt, that you are incapable of getting a promotion? Probably not!
How do you react when you believe that thought?
This makes you think about the story’s impact. You might procrastinate, overthink everything, avoid visibility, constantly compare yourself, or never take action. The thought becomes self-fulfilling because your behaviour changes in response to it.
Who would you be without that thought?
This question can feel emotional because it opens possibilities. Without the belief that you aren’t good enough, maybe you would go for the promotion, speak with more confidence, or trust yourself more. Suddenly, the thought loses some of its power.
The Stories That Keep You Stuck
In coaching conversations, I hear the same types of stories over and over again.
“I’m too old to start over.”
“I missed my chance.”
“I’m not experienced enough.”
“I need to be perfect before I begin.”
“Other people are more qualified.”
“Nobody will take me seriously.”
These stories sound convincing because they’ve been repeated for years, but that repetition only makes them familiar – not true!
Familiar thoughts can quietly shape your entire future if you don’t challenge them. The beautiful thing about self-awareness is that once you recognise a limiting story, you can start rewriting it.
It’s Not About Thinking Happy Thoughts!
Wouldn’t it be great if we could tell ourselves to think happy thoughts, and all those limiting stories and impostor phenomenon moments melted away?
Although we can’t flip a switch in our mind, we CAN choose thoughts that are more supportive, balanced, and empowering.
Instead of saying, “I’m terrible at speaking up in meetings,” maybe the new story becomes, “I’m learning to communicate more confidently.”
“I always fail,” can shift to “Every experience teaches me something valuable.”
Instead of “I’m behind everyone else and missing out on promotions,” you remind yourself that “My journey doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s.”
Small shifts in your language create powerful changes in identity.
A Simple Exercise to Try Today
Take a thought that’s been bothering you recently and journal through these prompts:
What story am I telling myself?
Is it definitely true?
What evidence contradicts this belief?
How does this story affect my behaviour?
What might change if I stopped believing it?
What is a more supportive thought I could choose instead?
You might be surprised by how much clarity comes from slowing down and questioning the narrative.
The stories you tell yourself matter. They influence your confidence, your decisions, your relationships, your career, your creativity, and the opportunities you allow yourself to pursue.
Learning to question your thoughts doesn’t mean you’ll never experience fear or self-doubt again, but it does mean you stop automatically accepting every thought as truth.
Ready to Rewrite the Story?
If you’re tired of feeling stuck in the same cycles of overthinking, self-doubt, or limiting beliefs, my Bounce Mindset tools and coaching sessions are designed to help you challenge unhelpful narratives and build a more confident, resilient mindset.
If you’d like support developing your mindset and understanding how to rewrite your story to show up with more clarity in your career, sign up for our monthly newsletter packed with coaching advice and tips, or book a FREE consultation call with Rebecca to learn how we can support you.
In this episode of The Bounce Mindset Podcast, we’re joined by Shelley Wilson, a multi-genre author, writing mentor, solo traveller, and champion of women’s voices. From her VW campervan adventures to bestselling novels and mentoring aspiring authors, Shelley shares a deeply honest look at her journey, her storytelling, and how writing helped her bounce forward from one of life’s darkest chapters.
Writing Across Genres and Wearing Many Hats
Shelley is a creative force with a career spanning self-help, young adult fantasy, historical fiction, and, most recently, romance. Her latest novel, Floating Solo, written during a spontaneous moment of inspiration, showcases her ability to pivot into new genres. But beyond her prolific writing, Shelley also mentors women who want to write their books, whether that’s a memoir, a business guide, or a novel.
“I support people to bring their stories to life,” Shelley explains. “It’s not just about writing, it’s about creating impact and embracing the vulnerability that storytelling demands.”
From Word Nerd to Published Author
Shelley’s love affair with storytelling began in childhood, scribbling in notebooks and diving into fantasy worlds where anything was possible. A pivotal moment came at 16 when her English teacher read her story aloud in class. “I was mortified and proud at the same time,” she laughs. “But I knew even then that I wanted people to hear my stories.”
Yet life took a detour. Marriage, children, and eventually divorce pulled Shelley away from writing. It wasn’t until she rediscovered books like The Secret that she found her way back to storytelling and herself.
Rebuilding Through Story
Shelley’s personal journey is one of immense courage. In a difficult and controlling marriage, her self-worth was slowly worn away. But her love for her children became the turning point. “I had this moment where I thought: I refuse to die and leave them with him. That was the moment I chose to survive.”
She left, rebuilt her life, and found strength through reading and reconnecting with others. “I went back to work, started making friends again, and began reading strong female characters. It reminded me of who I used to be, and who I could become again.”
The Power of Vulnerability in Writing
Shelley openly shares the emotional rollercoaster that comes with writing a book. From the impostor phenomenon to fear of judgment, she helps her clients navigate the ups and downs.
“Writing is vulnerable. Whether you’re telling your life story or writing fiction, those ideas come from your soul. The fear is real, but so is the transformation.”
She likens the writing process to building a sandcastle. “The first draft is you just shovelling sand. You then shape it into something beautiful later. But you can’t skip the messy part.”
From Trauma to Fiction: Healing Through Story
While Shelley hasn’t written a memoir about her experience with domestic abuse, she channels those emotions into her fiction. Her young adult novels often feature 16-year-old protagonists who are strong, flawed girls who find their voice and purpose. “They’re the girls I wish I’d been. Writing them is cathartic. It’s healing.”
She also uses journaling and ‘morning pages’ to offload emotion, a technique she recommends to anyone recovering from trauma.
A Life Beyond the Page
These days, Shelley’s greatest joy, apart from her grown-up children, is solo travelling in her VW campervan, Snoopy. “He’s the best investment I’ve ever made,” she says. Whether writing, researching for a novel, or simply recharging, her van adventures are the ultimate act of self-care and inner happiness.
“I’ve learned that happiness isn’t external. It’s inside. That took a while to realise, but once I did, everything shifted.”
A Legacy of Strength and Storytelling
Shelley’s story is one of post-traumatic growth. She’s not just bounced back, she’s bounced forward, building a life of purpose, creativity, and support for others.
“I wouldn’t change any of it. I’ve got my three incredible children, and I’ve created a life I love. If I can show other women that they can do the same, then it’s all been worth it.”
Her energy, humour, and honesty shine through everything she does, from mentoring sessions to her novels. “I’m proud of us,” she says of her family’s journey. “And I know I’m not finished yet.”
Want to Work With Shelley?
Shelley offers a range of ways to support women who want to write:
Free Facebook Group – Start Writing Your Book: accountability threads, open submissions, ask-me-anything days.
Membership Group – A monthly writing community with coaching calls, co-writing sessions, and a full resource portal.
Power Hours – 1:1 mentoring calls for writers seeking clarity and confidence.
One-to-One Mentoring – A three-month package for those ready to commit to writing their book.
You can also follow Shelley on LinkedIn and all major social platforms, where she shares behind-the-scenes writing tips, motivational content, and glimpses into life on the road in Snoopy, the campervan. Shelley’s story reminds us that our voice matters, our past doesn’t define our future, and that sharing our truth, no matter how vulnerable, can spark healing, connection, and real transformation.
“If I waited until I believed in myself,” Shelley says, “I wouldn’t be doing anything. You don’t have to feel ready to take the first step, you just have to start.”
Do You Need Help Embracing Vulnerability?
Using The Bounce Mindset® Framework, you can turn your career ambitions into reality with a clear vision, understanding how vulnerability doesn’t have to hold you back.
“Without Rebecca’s support it would have taken so much longer to achieve our target and to raise the profile of the project and build a committed Advisory Board.” CJ – The Black Pounds Project
Get in touch here if you need more assistance overcoming life’s challenges.
Sign up for our monthly newsletter packed with coaching advice and tips, or book a FREE consultation call with Rebecca to learn how we can support you.
Storytelling isn’t just for books and films. It’s a powerful tool in the business world that can help us gain confidence and achieve our goals. Think about the insightful stories you listen to on your favourite Podcast or the blog posts you read. From boardrooms to networking events, effective storytelling can improve communication, build trust, and leave a lasting impression.
Learning the art of storytelling can help you share ideas in a way that resonates with your team. It can also assist you when pitching a new idea or building client relationships. Stories transform facts into relatable experiences and emotional connections.
The Science Behind Storytelling
Research in neuroscience reveals that hearing a story engages seven areas of the brain (colours and shapes, language comprehension and processing, scents, sounds, movement, and sensory cortex) than data-driven presentations that engage only two areas (language comprehension and processing), making messages more memorable and impactful. Source: Scott Schwertly.
When we hear a fascinating story, our brains release oxytocin, a chemical that promotes trust and empathy. This explains why we naturally connect with stories, they make us feel something – think about your favourite Christmas Ad!
The perfect example of this is my recent conversation with Amit Ghose, a remarkable advocate and social media influencer who has inspired thousands with his story. Born with neurofibromatosis, a condition that causes tumours to grow on nerve tissue, Amit has undergone countless surgeries and faced unimaginable trials. But through it all, he has chosen to rise above his challenges, transforming his pain into purpose.
This is why businesses that incorporate storytelling into their messaging and leadership experience are more successful at capturing attention and influencing decisions.
Crafting a Compelling Story
How can you use storytelling to enhance communication, meet the needs of your employees, and connect with your team?
Before I share some of our favourite key techniques, let me share my own story.
In 2007, we lost our beautiful son Charlie. Our world crumbled, and life carried on regardless with meetings interspersed by a funeral, performance reviews followed by a meeting to discuss police intervention, interviews for sales managers alongside appointments with psychologists.
I would sit at my desk feeling guilty because I was Googling self-help books on Amazon instead of working. Using the last stapler could reduce me to tears and I would feel sorry for my team because their leader was such a mess! In short, I felt inadequate and very, very lonely. In public, I held it together. My pencil skirt and heels became my armour, and my smile was a great mask of the unbearable pain ripping through my body at every meeting.
Sharing my personal story allows me to connect emotionally on a deeper level with the clients I coach. They feel comfortable opening up without judgement because they know they’re dealing with an empathic coach who listens and understands them.
We can’t choose our circumstances. Relationship problems, financial stresses, or difficult home lives can always seem beyond our control, but we can choose how we move forward and how to get the best out of the situations we find ourselves in. By sharing my story, I enable others to do the same.
Here are some key storytelling techniques to explore:
Start with a Relatable Hook
The first few seconds of your story matter. Start with a compelling hook that is surprising, emotional, or relatable. For example, instead of saying, “Employee retention is important,” share a short anecdote: “Last year, we nearly lost one of our most valuable employees. Here’s what we learned…”
Use the Classic Story Structure
Great stories follow a beginning, middle, and end structure that makes them easy to follow:
Situation: Set the scene and introduce the context (beginning)
Challenge: Present the problem or conflict (middle)
Solution: Explain how the problem was addressed (middle)
Outcome: Share the result and key takeaway (end)
This framework offers clarity and keeps your audience engaged from start to finish.
Make It Personal and Authentic
Stories that feature real experiences are more compelling. Share your challenges, lessons, or successes to make your message more relatable. Authenticity builds credibility and fosters trust. Using your own experiences provides you with something to share at meetings or networking events, allowing you to be seen, heard, and valued.
Appeal to Emotions
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
Use sensory details and emotional triggers to bring your story to life. Whether it’s humour, excitement, or empathy, connecting emotionally strengthens your message.
Use Metaphors and Analogies
Ideas become easier to understand when you explain them using metaphors or analogies. For example, comparing a business strategy to a chess game helps demonstrate the importance of planning.
Alternatively, you could use an analogy around the inner voice. For example, your inner voice is like a roommate. Sometimes it’s your best friend, sharing a takeaway while watching Netflix and reminding you of your strengths. Other times, it’s the worst critic, shaming you for not doing the washing up, and making you doubt yourself.
Keep It Short
We all know how valuable our time is. Avoid unnecessary fluff and keep your story focused. Aim for a clear message but leave a strong impact!
Applying Storytelling to Leadership and Communication
Leaders who master storytelling can inspire, persuade, and motivate in multiple areas of our personal and professional life. But how can you incorporate storytelling without feeling self-critical?
When attending a presentation or a meeting, start with a brief story to capture attention before diving into data and analysis. Use storytelling to highlight case studies and success stories demonstrating your value or your team’s.
Share personal experiences to build rapport and show your leadership skills. A well-crafted story about your journey can make you more memorable and relatable.
Next time you need to share an idea, remember that facts tell, but stories sell. Use storytelling to elevate your professional presence and leave a lasting impact.
Take charge of your career today! Start by considering the relatable stories you can share with your team, colleagues, or clients.
“Rebecca is an absolutely brilliant coach. Straight-talking and yet empathetic, she really gets to the heart of issues. You leave a session feeling empowered, with a clear action plan. No subject is off limits as Rebecca understands that things being sub-optimal in another area of your life can affect how effectively you can operate at work. I would highly recommend Rebecca as a business coach, particularly in the legal sector.” Naomi Pride
Get in touch if you’re looking for more assistance working through life’s challenges and you would appreciate a guide to encourage and support your goals and aspirations. We have a brilliant guide all ready and waiting for you!
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