Stay in the Now and Let Go of Stress
I’ve just finished a call with my client who has a fear of public speaking. She worries she will be sick and everyone will think she’s disgusting and she will ruin her reputation and, and, and…
Feeling sick before a talk is one thing, but building a box set of stories around what might happen in the future is something else altogether. After our call, I am delighted that the client felt equipped with some new techniques to reduce her anxiety, so I thought I would share them with you! After all…they are award-winning!!
Summary
- Learn from the past, but don’t live there. Take the lesson, decide if there’s something you can do today, then let it go.
- Planning and worrying aren’t the same thing. Planning creates action; catastrophising creates stress about a future that hasn’t happened.
- Use simple mindfulness techniques to bring yourself back to the present when your thoughts start racing backwards or forwards.
- Ask, “What needs my attention right now?” Focusing on one thing at a time can reduce overwhelm and improve productivity.
- Build small anchors into your day. Pause between tasks, step away for lunch, notice your surroundings, and acknowledge what you’ve achieved.
- Focus your energy where you have power: what’s happening now, what you can control, and what you can do next.
How much of today have you actually spent in today? Perhaps your body is sitting at your desk on Thursday morning, but your mind is replaying the conversation you had on Tuesday. You’re wondering if you said the wrong thing, whether you should have handled it differently, or what somebody else thought of you. Or maybe your mind has skipped ahead to next week, next month or even next year.
What if I don’t hit the target?
What if the meeting goes badly?
What if I make the wrong decision?
What if things don’t work out the way I planned?
The Past Is a Teacher, Not a Place to Live
At the start of every year, the internet is flooded with recommendations to reflect on the past twelve months. I’m not going to deny that reflection can be a useful tool. We learn from our mistakes, recognise patterns, and understand ourselves better because of the experiences we’ve had. The problem comes when reflection turns into deliberation.
There’s a difference between asking, “What can I learn from that?” and replaying something while wishing you could change it. One helps you move forward. The other keeps you stuck!
You might find yourself going over an awkward conversation, regretting a career decision, thinking about something you should have said, or beating yourself up about an opportunity you didn’t take, but no amount of thinking can rewrite what has already happened.
What you can do is take the lesson and bring it into the present by asking yourself a simple question:
Is there something useful I can do about this today?
If the answer is yes, take the action.
If the answer is no, give yourself permission to put it down.
Your Brain Loves a Worst-Case Scenario
If you’re not travelling backwards, you’ll usually be racing forwards, and your brain can be amazingly creative when it comes to filling in the blanks!
One unanswered email becomes, “They’re not happy with me.”
One difficult month becomes, “The team is failing.”
You’ll try to prepare yourself by imagining every possible outcome, but has catastrophising ever made you feel better prepared? No, more often than not, it makes you anxious about something that hasn’t even happened. This means you’re experiencing the stress of an imaginary future in the present!
You might say, “But Rebecca, I’m planning.” That’s great. Planning is useful, but worrying isn’t the same thing as planning. A plan says, “Here’s what I’ll do if that happens.” Anxiety says, “But what if…?” and then asks the question another 47 times.
Come Back to What Is Actually Happening
Mindfulness can sound like something else you need to add to your already overflowing to-do list, but it doesn’t have to mean a 30-minute meditation, sitting cross-legged in complete silence, or emptying your mind of every thought. It means noticing where you are and what is happening right now.
It takes seconds…
When you notice your mind disappearing into the past or future, bring your attention back to something physical, like the feeling of your feet on the floor. Notice your breathing and keep it slow and steady. Look around and identify one thing you can see, one thing you can hear, and one thing you can smell. That might be your stapler (see it), the office printer (hear it), and your coffee (smell it).
These tiny moments interrupt the stream of thoughts and reconnect you with what is actually happening rather than what has happened or might happen.
Ask: What Needs My Attention Right Now?
When you’re overwhelmed, your brain tends to throw everything at you at once.
The deadline.
The difficult conversation.
Next month’s figures.
The mistake you made yesterday.
The meeting tomorrow.
The email you haven’t answered.
What’s for dinner?
That thing you suddenly remembered you were supposed to do three weeks ago.
No wonder you’re exhausted! Instead of trying to mentally solve your entire life, ask yourself: what needs your attention right now?
It might be finishing the document in front of you. Making one phone call. Preparing for your next meeting. Eating lunch. Going for a ten-minute walk. Having a conversation you’ve been avoiding. Do that thing, then ask the question again.
Create Small Anchors Throughout Your Day
You don’t need to wait until you’re stressed to practise being present. It can be helpful to build small anchors into your everyday routine, like stepping away from your screen to eat lunch, or taking a moment before launching into another task. When was the last time you acknowledged what you completed at the end of the day instead of thinking about everything you still have to do?
These moments might seem insignificant, but they teach your mind to stop constantly racing ahead.
The goal is to recognise when your thoughts about yesterday or tomorrow are stealing your energy from today. When that happens, bring yourself back:
What is happening right now?
What can I control right now?
What needs my attention right now?
Need Help Quietening the Noise?
If you’re spending too much time overthinking past decisions, worrying about what comes next, or feeling as though your mind is constantly ten steps ahead of you, our Bounce Mindset Career Accelerator can help you create some much-needed space. Want to get on our waitlist for an open programme? Click HERE.
A focused mindset/coaching session gives you the opportunity to untangle what’s going on, separate what you can control from what you can’t, and work out your next step.
Sometimes you don’t need to have the whole future figured out, but you’d benefit from clarity on what to do next.
Book a free consultation with Rebecca and start bringing your energy back to the place where it can make the biggest difference: right here, right now.
“I can’t explain how valuable this course has been…This week I have had several meetings with the senior leadership team, and I felt confident to be myself and possibly contributed and even led some of the meetings! Thank you so much!” – Wesleyan Employee